The odds of going to the store for a loaf of bread and coming out with only a loaf of bread are three billion to…
People say that money isn’t the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made. …
Always go to other people’s funerals; otherwise, they won’t go to yours. – Yogi Berra
Some people have a way with words, and other people…oh, uh, not have way. – Steve Martin
If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead. – Erma Bombeck
I always give 100% at work: 13% Monday 22% Tuesday 26% Wednesday 35% Thursday 4% Friday – Unknown