Tonight’s weather, dark, continuing mostly dark tonight, leading to widely scattered areas of light in the morning. – George Carlin
I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. – Rodney Dangerfield
We are not retreating – we are advancing in another direction. – General Douglas MacArthur
We don’t pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes. – Leona Helmsley – hotel owner and prison inmate. Quoted by her former housekeeper, in…
I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run. – Babe Ruth
Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead? – Steven Wright