Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. – Mark Twain
To some it’ s a six-pack, to me it’s a Support Group. Salvation in a can! – Dave Howell
I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. – Oscar Wilde
All the things I really like are either immoral, illegal or fattening. – Alexander Woollcott
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. – Emo Philips