My doctor asked me if any of my family members suffer from insanity, to which I replied ‘no, we all seem to enjoy it’! –…
A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. – Douglas…
I’m writing my book in fifth person, so every sentence starts out with: “I heard from this guy who told somebody …” – Demetri Martin
You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. It’s like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’ …
General Mills is coming out with an organic Twinkie. Isn’t that called a sponge? – Jay Leno