A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff. – George Carlin
Now there are more overweight people in America than average-weight people. So overweight people are now average. Which means you’ve met your New Year’s resolution….
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. – Unknown
According to most studies, people’s number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two! Does that sound right? That means…
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it. – Bob Hope
Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he’s talking about. – Sam Ewing