If you do a job too well, you’ll get stuck with it. – Unknown
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I got some new underwear the other day. Well, new to me. – Emo Philips
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Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. – Wendell Johnson
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Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done. – Burt Reynolds
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All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific. – Jane Wagner
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Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. – Anthony Burgess
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When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. – Unknown
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There, I guess King George will be able to read that. – John Hancock
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