One good thing about Christmas shopping it toughens you for the January sales. – Grace Kriley
I don’t have to look up my family tree, because I know that I’m the sap. – Fred Allen
Never under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. – Dave Barry
Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read. – Groucho Marx