It isn’t the ups and downs that make life difficult; it’s the jerks. – Charles “Charlie” Chaplin
I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but there’s never any gum under any of them. –…
Go my favorite sports team go! Score a goal. Unit. Basket. Go squadron! Defeat the opponents soundly in this…skirmish. – Brian Regan
Today marks the 10-year anniversary of the iPhone. The Samsung Galaxy Note 7 even celebrated with a fireworks display. – James Corden
One thing I learned from drinking is that if you ever go Christmas caroling, you should go with a group of people. And also go…
Robbers broke into the Gap over the weekend. The suspects are described as being armed and casual. – David Letterman
We’re having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we’re having a swan. You get more stuffing. –…