Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to…
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I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody’s fingers. – Rodney Dangerfield
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If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success? – Jerry Seinfeld
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There will be a rain dance Friday night, weather permitting. – George Carlin
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I wanted to buy a candle holder, but the store didn’t have one. So I got a cake. – Mitch Hedberg
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If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you! – Henny Youngman
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Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes? – Unknown
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I drink to make other people interesting. – George Jean Nathan
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